I did it.....I updated my blog  ;)

more soon...

xxx
Sonja

I just wanted to post a quick note saying that I'm still around but that I have been very ill with chickenpox. Got them of my 4 year old who wasn't even really affected by them.. and here I am with High Fever, all over body pain, headaches and Spots.....well, there's a LOT of spots....Abdominal and chest pain......Not to mention the incessant itching!!!
Today is the first day where I can see a little light and I know that I will be ok.
Give it another week or so...
It's seriously awful to get this as an adult.

I will be back in touch once I feel normal again.

Love,
Sonja

Life will NEVER be the same
You will cry alot
You will laugh a lot
You will "FEEL" so strongly on a daily basis that it will do your head in...
You will realise LOVE has taken on a whole new meaning
....

When I was pregnant that was all I could think about..."Pregnancy" and the "Birth".
There's soooo much focus on those 9 months and not enough preparation for actually getting on with living once Baby is born. I read numerous books on childbirth during my preganacy which I guess helped me to achieve a beautiful Home birth, however, I read NOTHING about child rearing, Motherhood or any of the other aspects that a New Mother will have to deal with after the Birth. Midwifes, the hospital etc all focus on Pregnancy and Birth and maybe he first 6 weeks of "standard" routines for new Babies, breastfeeding and whatnot....but I felt there was not enough support on what to actually do once the Baby is there, how to deal with all the little things that will pretty much take over your life. How to deal with all the new emotions...

At the end of the day, there probably is Nothing that can Really prepare any woman for Motherhood
It's probably one of those things that need to be experienced to be believed....

Take it easy, Do what feels right and Don't forget to smell the Roses along the way


Love,
Sonja

  

here

Mister God this is Anna

The above title has always been a favorite book of mine...I first read it when I was very young and fell in Love with Anna. It's a small book, a very simple book and as far as I know a true account. It is for adults as well as children and anyone in between.
I had not owned a copy of this for years now as I always end up giving them away to someone to read but I received a shiny new one in the mail today and cannot wait to read this for probably the 100th time.

From the back cover:

Anna was only four years old when Fynn found her on London's fog-shrouded docks. He took her back to his mother's home, and from that first moment, their times together were filled with delight and discovery. Anna had an astonishing ability to ask - and to answer - life's largest questions. Her total openess and honesty amazed all who knew her. She seemed to understand with uncanny certainty the purpose of being, the essence of feeling, the beauty of Love. You see, Anna had a very special relationship with Mister God...


I could go on and on about how much I love this book...but I won't :)
So get yourselves a copy and read!
For those that have read it, I'd love to hear your thoughts...I don't think I've ever heard of anyone who hasn't liked this...a Lot.


Take Care,
Sonja

....I have appointments today so to truly get into my painting is going to be futile...when I know I have somewhere to be in an hour or so...that hour might as well be lost to me ... I cannot focus on my work...I need to know that I don't have to be anywhere other than here and now today, in order to paint...So I take some time to write instead....

We have started to recycle again...a bin for plastics, paper, cardboard and glass, tin cans, assigned a rubbish bin for "stuff to be incinerated" and a bin for "everything else".....It was awfully confusing...letting my husband know what goes where now...and then having to remind him to please rinse the milk bottle before depositing it in the correct bin......My son, at 4 years of age, looking at me rather bewildered after showing him the new bins and explaining what each one is for....funny really...they think me mad but I know they love me :) ....We also went out yesterday and bought ourselves a kickbag......we know we need to excersise more... but both of us hate the idea of, let alone actually going to, a gym (memories of wasted membership $$$'s no doubt on the back of our minds....) so we decided on an activity we both enjoy immensely....Kickboxing....we've done that before, years ago, so having a bag at home to kick and punch the living shit out of is just what the doctor ordered....we're balancing this out with taking up Tai Chi twice a week....and then there's always looking after our rather large plot of land....sometimes we feel like regular mountain goats clambering all over the place...scrub-cutter, weed-eater and spade in hand.......

But back to the bag.....We have made some space in the family room for it to be suspended from the ceiling, we will need to re-inforce this from inside the roof so the ceiling doesn't start cracking and crumbling away on us due to the repeated impact and then we're all set to go.....The family room was the obvious choice as its in plain sight and there's no way we can "miss" it...so no excuses to not have a half hour round each day...Not only will it be great excersise.....there's nothing quite like it, therapeutically speaking,.....the bag doesn't mind....it actually beckons you.... angry? stressed? frustrated? ....bring it on! Personally, I can't wait...don't know why we didn't do this sooner...

On a different note, I have finally had some business cards printed, for my Art, as well as Art postcards for mailings....I'm really happy with the way they look....(I'm happy to post one to anyone who would like one!) I'm not good at "advertising" let alone advertising myself....but I need to do this....I need to get over the resistance I have and put myself out there again...Sales were very good about 2 years ago but since then my work has changed, I am now painting stuff I actually care about, stuff that has meaning for me, instead of doing "what sells"....Some might call it career suicide...my sales have dropped since then and initially I was mortified....Sales can definately equal confidence....kind of like an affirmation that I'm doing the right thing, my paintings are "good enough" but its an external confidence given to me by others, strangers for the most part and these days I care a hell of a lot more about my own approval....I asked myself would I still paint everyday, as I do now, if it meant I would probably never sell another painting, never be "known", let alone be remembered for my work? I aswered YES! I'm not going to wait for outside approval, I'm going to paint what I like, when I like, and how I like...it truly was quite a revelation for me....something so simple.....I love what I do, I am incredibly blessed to be able to do what I love on a daily basis and have my families' & friends' support. That's all that matters really, that's all I need..... The odd sale here and there obviously doesn't hurt....Art suplies don't grow on trees you know.... ;-)

Here's leaving you with a quote/poem I came across today:

I used to have a "Comfort Zone" Where I knew I couldn't fail, The same four walls and busy work, were really more like jail. I longed so much to do the things I'd never done before,
But I stayed inside my "Comfort Zone" and paced the same old floor.

I said it didn't matter that I wasn't doing much. I said I didn't care for things like diamonds, furs and such. I claimed to be so busy with the things inside the zone. But deep inside I longed for something "special" of my own. I couldn't let my life go by just watching others win! I held my breath and stepped outside to let the change begin! I took a step and with new strength I'd never felt before. I kissed my "comfort Zone" good-bye and closed and locked the door. If you are in a "Comfort Zone" afraid to venture out, remember that all winners were at one time filled with doubt. A step or two and words of praise can make your dreams come true. Greet your future with a smile, Success is there for you!

by: unknown

Source: The Comfort Zone

If anyone knows who wrote this I'd be interested to know.

Dreams

2001/2002 was the last time I visited. I was born and grew up in germany until the age of 15, then moved to New Zealand and have lived here for 15 years now. Going back was nice, I travelled with my husband and he was finally able to put a picture to all the places I have always spoken off and also some of the people I had grown up around. We drove by the house I used to live in, visited my old school etc...it felt very nostalgic at times. We stayed at the apartment where my grandmother had lived all her life (it was kept in the family after her death), a second home to me, as I spent a lot of time there during my childhood.
Great trip down memory lane